Grief- a word defined by Webster’s Dictionary as “a deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement; a cause of such suffering; an unfortunate outcome”.
Yesterday, I received the sad news my 50 year old friend had died from complications of cancer. She was such an inspiration to me and had such a heart to know the things of the LORD. She pursued after God with such a hunger and was so excited to share something she had learned. She always had a huge smile on her face, even when she might have been in pain. Tina will be greatly missed!
Throughout our lives, we all have come in contact with death or loss. As a child, it may have been our favorite cat or dog. Maybe we found a dead sparrow or bunny rabbit. Then as we got older, we lost a grandparent, cousin, uncle, aunt, friend or spouse. We each grieved in a different way. Some of us stuffed down the emotional hurts and did not allow ourselves to cry. Others cried with such grief that it seemed to go on for days, months, years. Then those “firsts” come around and hit us all over again as we remember the loss of the loved one.
Did you know there is such a thing as healthy and unhealthy grieving? Healthy Grieving is when you are able to mourn the loss of your friend, your move away from all things familiar, your miscarriage…. and this is in a manner you are able to control your emotions. Unhealthy grieving is when your emotions control you and you are physically unable to control your grief. It bogs you down until you cannot even do the smallest part of your day such as getting dressed and eating meals. Depression sucks the life out of you and you don’t remember what it was like to laugh.
As I mourn the loss of my friend, I smile at all the memories that come to mind. I remember the many things we talked about and the Scriptures we poured over. If you are struggling to move past your grief and find a “new normal”, I suggest you get in touch with a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. Here is the website of a friend who does this type of counseling- http://goodgriefandyou.com/. You can click on this link to find a counselor in your area. https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/
I remember a time – only a few short years ago- when I was finally able to unpack all the hurt feelings and unhealthy emotions. I have spent many hours in counseling as I pursued after a healthy emotional life. I remember where I was when I laughed for the first time in a loooong time. It felt so strange, yet freeing. Now I am able to control grief and my emotions instead of them controlling me. Major depression and anxiety kept holding me back from living life. I am thankful to have my life back and for strong leaders and counselors who took the time to help me get back on track.
Zig Ziglar, famous author and speaker, wrote this book- The Confessions of A Grieving Christian after losing his daughter. I personally have not read the book, but reading the reviews show that the book is well written and has touched many lives in helping them cope with their grief.
Prayers to each of you who are struggling. Please reach out and ask for help if you want to get out of the pit of unhealthy emotions! Send me an email at mannafoldblessings@gmail.com. I will listen. I will care!
L’Chaim,
Coach Shannon