Tag Archives: depression

Healthy Grieving


Grief- a word defined by Webster’s Dictionary as “a deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement; a cause of such suffering; an unfortunate outcome”. 

Yesterday, I received the sad news my 50 year old friend had died from complications of cancer. She was such an inspiration to me and had such a heart to know the things of the LORD. She pursued after God with such a hunger and was so excited to share something she had learned. She always had a huge smile on her face, even when she might have been in pain. Tina will be greatly missed!


Throughout our lives, we all have come in contact with death or loss. As a child, it may have been our favorite cat or dog. Maybe we found a dead sparrow or bunny rabbit. Then as we got older, we lost a grandparent, cousin, uncle, aunt, friend or spouse. We each grieved in a different way. Some of us stuffed down the emotional hurts and did not allow ourselves to cry. Others cried with such grief that it seemed to go on for days, months, years. Then those “firsts” come around and hit us all over again as we remember the loss of the loved one.


Did you know there is such a thing as healthy and unhealthy grieving? Healthy Grieving is when you are able to mourn the loss of your friend, your move away from all things familiar, your miscarriage…. and this is in a manner you are able to control your emotions. Unhealthy grieving is when your emotions control you and you are physically unable to control your grief. It bogs you down until you cannot even do the smallest part of your day such as getting dressed and eating meals. Depression sucks the life out of you and you don’t remember what it was like to laugh.


As I mourn the loss of my friend, I smile at all the memories that come to mind. I remember the many things we talked about and the Scriptures we poured over. If you are struggling to move past your grief and find a “new normal”, I suggest you get in touch with a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. Here is the website of a friend who does this type of counseling-  http://goodgriefandyou.com/. You can click on this link to find a counselor in your area. https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

I remember a time – only a few short years ago- when I was finally able to unpack all the hurt feelings and unhealthy emotions. I have spent many hours in counseling as I pursued after a healthy emotional life. I remember where I was when I laughed for the first time in a loooong time. It felt so strange, yet freeing.  Now I am able to control grief and my emotions instead of them controlling me. Major depression and anxiety kept holding me back from living life. I am thankful to have my life back and for strong leaders and counselors who took the time to help me get back on track.

Zig Ziglar, famous author and speaker, wrote this book- The Confessions of A Grieving Christian after losing his daughter. I personally have not read the book, but reading the reviews show that the book is well written and has touched many lives in helping them cope with their grief.

Prayers to each of you who are struggling. Please reach out and ask for help if you want to get out of the pit of unhealthy emotions! Send me an email at mannafoldblessings@gmail.com. I will listen. I will care!


Coach Shannon

Clogged Drains

This post is an entry in my journal from a year ago 1-14-13. I have never shared from my journal publicly, but perhaps you can relate?

”  Clogged Drains – it may be a funny title, but it is very fitting! Yesterday was a very low, sad day. I felt the plumber would never come. I was told 8am-10am, but still not here. Everyone else was out going to church, eating lunch with friends and family while I was home with a clogged drain – not only physically in my house, but also in my body, mind and spirit.
For the past month and half, I have been without an appetite- for physical food or spiritual food. As I struggled through each day – working to make ends meet, nibbling on food just to gain strength so I wouldn’t fall over from low blood sugar – I would wonder if this would ever end? Why such dryness? Why such nothingness? Why LORD? How long?? Most of the time I would hear nothing. No reply. Once in a while I would imagine I heard “Wait”. And I would mumble… complain… and sigh. Many dear friends became prayer warriors as they too wondered what God’s plan was for all this desert land.
Then sickness took over the body. Fever shook my thin frame and the muscles quivered time and again in a weak involuntary attempt to warm a dying fire. “♫ Fan the flame…that burns in you… Hear God’s call…Let HIS Light through ♪!” (song by Buddy Davis) Each day I would get up, go to work, come home and fall into bed, weak and exhausted. Lord, how long? Your Word just seems so dry. I can read it but nothing sticks. So You will have to speak through another way.” I would listen to songs, but be sad because I didn’t even have enough strength to sing along. I wanted to count my blessings, but it seemed so pointless.
I had thought about Job. He had many questions for God – just like I did – and do. He had friends who tried to help sort out his life’s problems.
So as I waited on the plumber, I listened to a sermon online and anxiously looked outside. Made a few phone calls and got the reply “He is busy at another job. He hasn’t forgotten about you.” So I finally ate lunch, bleakly staring at my plate. SIGH. Can’t run water (the basement is already flooded), can’t flush the toilet, can’t go outside (it’s pouring down rain), can’t let the cat go downstairs (he stares in disbelief at his food dish and litter box half submerged in nasty sewer water! Then looks at me like “MOM! DO SOMETHING!”) I want to cry. I don’t even have tall enough boots to go get it so he can empty his bladder!
The clock hands turn around another hour. And another. I listen to school lessons as I watch the window. Another phone call. And another. “He’s on his way. He’ll be there in 30 minutes”. 90 minutes later- a knock at the door!! He stands there and his statement sounds more like a question – “RotoRooter?” YES! YES! Please pull around to the back door!! Relief floods over me and I want to sing… SING?! Instead I lay down newspaper and try to be as helpful as possible to get the drain unclogged. Open doors. “Right this way.” “Anything I can get for you?” My cat has taken refuge under my bed comfortor… (good lesson for me – I should’ve been resting under my Comfortor!) :)
As the hose uncoils from the “rooter” machine and the plumber handles it with such ease, I too begin to feel a “loosening” inside my heart. I feel happiness seaping in. Pretty soon I hear the machine turn off and the most amazing music starts playing – water gurgling happily down the opened drain pipe!
“What was it?” I asked. “Tree roots” his reply, as he showed me the fist full to throw in the trash. Hmmm, tree roots – is that what was clogging my heart too? Roots of self pity, anger, bitterness, pride, unkindness, unforgiveness?!
When I surveyed the scene, I knew I needed some bleach water to wash the floor and walls in some areas. So when the papers were signed and he drove away, he cheerfully said “Have a wonderful evening!” I replied with emphasis- “You too!”
While cleaning and scrubbing the floors and walls made my weakened body tired and my back pretty sore, it also invigorated me to clean and mop the floor upstairs too. My upstairs (brain) felt like it was being decluttered too from the filth and grime that had collected.
When all filth and grime had been removed – I felt a freedom I hadn’t felt in a long time. I actually felt like preparing for work the next day! My cat was quite pleased with his new clean surroundings, but still a little unsure of the “blowing beast with the coiled snake” in HIS territory! (dehumidifier and drain hose). :)
So today I ♬ woke up this morning feeling fine -♩ I woke up with joy in my soul, ♪ ’cause I know my LORD had control ♫! Satan has been DEFEATED! I have fought the fight with GOD on my side- fighting harder! JESUS IS LORD!! ”

If you can relate to this struggle of feeling hopeless, depressed and forgotten, I encourage you to send me an email or message. I truly understand the struggle and now have hope and joy by using the tools my friends taught me. You are a VICTOR not a victim and you are conqueror through our LORD and SAVIOUR!  Each time the enemy reminds you of your past; remind him of his future!! He is such a looooser!! :)

Blessings on your day, week, month and year!

~Coach Shannon